a dainty little thing

So I've been thinking...

Perhaps I am in the wrong "field" well, not that I am really IN any field at all but perhaps I am headed in the wrong direction. Something feels very off.

Back up about 4 months ago.
I thought 100% that I wanted to work in a spa. I wanted to be an Esthetician without a shadow of doubt and I really wanted to go to school for it. I thought skincare and helping people feel good about themselves in their skin was the greatest idea. I visited a school in Atlanta, hell i even enrolled.

As the start date got closer I realized I wasn't mentally ready to go back to school. My obsessive compulsive disorder was not in check and my depression was still pulling me down every day. I decided to not go through with it. About a week or two later I ended up getting a job at a spa that my mom and I had visited when we were having lunch downtown. I've been there since then and while it's still an interesting field it's not for me. Maybe I got this job so that I could see it wasn't really everything I thought it would be.

One reason why I feel I am not going in the right direction is the fact that Matt and I want a baby. Yes, a baby. We didn't plan to want one so soon but hey, things change and sometimes they change quickly. Let's just say I don't make enough money to live off of myself much less to help support a baby.

So it got me thinking...
Maybe the reason why I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is so that I can use it to help other people with the same disorder and other disorders as well. Maybe I am meant to be a licensed professional counselor. And maybe that would be the field I could go into to be able to help support a baby and our future.

I've never really thought this way before. I've honestly never thought about a future for someone else- it's always just been about myself. I like it, I like it a lot actually.

That's all for today. :]